One Day
by diariesstelena
Summary: A year after season five finale. A long overdue conversation between previous lovers. - One shot.


**A/N: Well hello, it's been a while! I am currently on summer break and thought that I would write a one shot for y'all! I kinda felt like I had to write this simply because the relationship stelena now has is utter bullshit, so this is more for personal satisfaction, I guess. If you have any other suggestions for one shots, tweet them to me at .diariesstelena on twitter! But I hope you enjoy this and leave me a review! **

It's been a year since Damon and Bonnie have been gone. A year of relative peace, nothing too crazy happening. Nothing like the last two years here in Mystic Falls. So much has happened in the past couple of years that it made Elena's head spin. She went from losing her parents, meeting Stefan and being wrapped up into the supernatural world, to ultimately becoming a vampire and losing herself.

It wasn't easy, getting to the point in her life where she is right now. She's seen a lot of death, a lot of tragedy, but she's also seen a lot of love, and a lot of sacrifices for that love.

Elena sat quietly in an arm chair in the boarding house before the fireplace; something that she often liked doing, especially since they have been gone. At first she cried; cried every night like it would bring them back to her. Then she sat in silence, and never stopped since.

It was dark out, but nowhere near the end of the day. The looming storm outside darkened the skies, and threatened to pour.

Elena stared into the fire, letting her mind race as it usually did during these times she had to herself. She should be upset. She should be sad. But truth was, she was indifferent. The day she realized she wasn't responding to all of this the way she should be, was the day she stopped crying. Yes, she missed them, but she was no longer crippled by the loss. And that's what she was afraid of. She _should _be crippled by the loss. She should be a mess, and she should be hurting. It was what she deserved. She didn't deserve to be okay with everything, even if it was a year later.

Lost in her thoughts, Elena almost missed it when the front door opened and closed, indicating the arrival of Stefan.

Things were at a weird place with Stefan. Stefan was still there for Elena, like he promised he always would be, but something was different. For the first three months, Stefan had to stay awake and make sure Elena was okay, and then eventually, he stopped coming around. He was present, always, but not mentally. He still gave Elena everything that she needed, words of encouragement, a shoulder to lean on, and stability that she needed, but it wasn't the same – nothing ever was.

Stefan walked into the parlour and saw a curled up Elena sitting in the chair, covered by a blanket, with the fire giving her skin the perfect amount of glow. Stefan walked to the bourbon, grabbed a glass and poured himself a drink; something he did a lot as of late. Maybe it was his way of coping, maybe it was an ode to Damon, but he drank, drank like it would bring them back to him.

"I didn't know you were gonna be home," he heard her voice say, breaking the silence that was all too familiar between them lately.

"Yeah, the forecast called for severe thunderstorms, thought it would be best to be home." He responded in a more than generous manner.

Stefan poured Elena a drink as well, and walked over to where she sat, and silently handed her the drink. They drank together in silence often too. Something about the company of one another was familiar, and was soothing.

Elena took the glass, letting her fingers brush his, and nodded her thanks. She brought the glass to her lips and took a swig, letting it burn her throat as it went down; a burning she had grown accustomed to.

Stefan kept his eyes on her and took a seat beside her in the arm chair next to her, letting his head hit the back of the chair and his eyes slip close. Stefan let himself sit in the silence and enjoy the time with Elena. Together or not, Stefan would always care about Elena, and would always enjoy their time together, even if it was spent in silence.

Stefan was the one to speak, "What are thinking about?" his soft voice asked when he opened his eyes and realized that Elena never once moved to look at him since he came into the room.

"Everything. Nothing," she replied ambiguously, trying not to let her true feelings come to surface around Stefan. He didn't deserve to be burdened with her nonsense. Not when she destroyed him and them.

"You don't have to do that with me, Elena, stop shutting everyone out," Stefan said quietly at first, but unintentionally added a little bite to the last part.

Elena finally moved to look at Stefan, a bit surprised at his tone towards the end. Implying that she shuts people out. But she was relieved, because as of late it was like Stefan was incapable of actually acting on his feelings, he was always so composed; whether for her, or for himself, she didn't know.

Elena looked at Stefan slowly and before her eyes could well up with tears, she looked away and back into the fire. Stefan moved and sat on the edge of his chair and reached out his hand and placed it on her knee. Elena was shocked at the touch, Stefan didn't really touch her if he didn't have to. Other than the rare, but occasional, comforting pat on the shoulder. Elena sucked in a deep breath and let her eyes close at the mere touch of his gentle hands. She almost forgot what his touch could do to her, it had been that long.

"Talk to me, Elena," Stefan said, trying to get her attention back, and trying to make sure she wouldn't have to go through any of this alone. They were both so alone and all they had were each other, the least Stefan could do was make sure she didn't have to deal with her racing mind herself.

Stefan didn't deserve to be brought back into the mess that Elena always carried with her. She had hurt him enough and it wasn't right for her to go back to him when she needed him. She was selfish, and she didn't deserve Stefan, or his comforting words, but she did deserve to be alone and to hurt.

"There's nothing to talk about, Stefan" Elena said sharply before she brushed his hand off her knee and motioned to stand up, effectively ending the conversation.

Stefan knew what she was doing, and it was stupid. He knew she was trying to push him away, why, he didn't know, but it hurt nonetheless. He thought that she could talk to him, and he thought that he could be there for her, but evidently not.

"Stop doing that." He said abruptly when she got up and moved to walk away from the room – from them. Elena was caught off guard by the sudden rise in his tone and demeanour.

"Doing what?" Elena shot back at him, not knowing where all these pent up frustration was coming from.

"Walking away. Stop walking away. You don't have to do that anymore," Stefan said looking at her across the room from him.

"I know you might not understand, Stefan, but I'm doing it for you." Elena said before she turned around again and continued to walk away.

Before Elena could walk out of the room, Stefan moved to grab her wrist, stopping her from walking away.

"Hey, you don't get to make decisions for me," Stefan said once they were face to face again. Stefan studied the girl before him closely. She looked like she had aged five years in the one year alone. The look in her eyes alone has changed.

"What do you want to hear from me Stefan? Do you want to hear how upset I am? Do you want to hear how broken I am that I lost the _love of my life?_" Elena asked, suddenly bursting with frustration at the man before him.

"Yeah! I want to hear something from you, because in the past year, you have done nothing to let me know that you are okay. I spent three months standing outside your door at night because you cried yourself to bed every night, and now you expect me to believe that everything is okay?" Stefan shot back, raising his voice angrily at Elena.

Elena was taken aback by the shift in their conversation. "Stefan you want to hear something? I am okay. And that is what scares me!" Elena said, matching his anger and tone.

Stefan took a step back at Elena's angered tone. This was more than he had heard out of her all year, and especially when she said that she was okay, it confused him. If she was okay, then what was the problem?

"What?" Stefan asked, softening his tone, trying to bring the conversation back to its previous level. Them angrily yelling at one another was going to go nowhere, so why bother?

Elena huffed out a breath, let her shoulders slump, and her eyes close as she tried to compose herself. This was exactly what she did not want. She didn't need Stefan to be caught up in her shit again. She would walk away from him if it meant that he would no longer hurt because of him. She didn't deserve him, not in the slightest.

"I'm tired, Stefan. I'm going to bed," Elena said in a defeated tone, walking away from him. And this time, he let her.

**XXXXXXXXX**

It was around midnight, and Stefan was sitting in his room, writing in his journal when the storm wiped out the power and he suddenly sat in the dark. Stefan got up and made his way to the guest room Elena had claimed residency in to make sure she was okay. But when he opened the door, the room was empty. He figured she was back in her place in front of the fireplace and made his way downstairs.

While he was alone, he did some thinking. He realized that he was by no means obligated to make sure Elena was okay, but he needed to know for himself. He spent the last year trying to come to terms with losing everything in his life that once gave it meaning. He lost his brother, lost the love of his life, lost his sanity, and himself. He needed to know Elena was okay because he wasn't. He needed to know that one of them would make it through, that one of them would come out a stronger person.

When he made it downstairs, he saw Elena in the same spot she was in earlier today. He walked over to her and sat back down in the chair.

"I'm sorr – "they both began at the same time, but stopped when they realized that they spoke at the same time.

"It's okay, Stefan" Elena began, turning to look at him in the dark, his face just lit by the burning fire. He was beautiful, and it was something that never went unnoticed by Elena.

"I just need to know you're okay. I need you to talk to me, for reasons all too selfish." Stefan admitted, as he hung his head.

Elena was shocked at his words. Stefan and selfish? The furthest thing. But Elena knew where he was coming from.

"Stefan, for the past year, you have been nothing but the one thing that I need. For the past year, I have been looking for something to explain how I'm feeling. I have been looking for an excuse, for something that could tell me that the way I'm feeling is okay, and I am not betraying Bonnie and Damon." Elena said, letting herself falter just a bit at the mention of their names.

"Elena, whatever you are feeling is perfectly fine. You don't have to justify anything, not to me, or yourself. That's the thing about feeling things and emotions, they're only ever normal and they are perfectly fine. You don't need an excuse, or a reason, to feel" Stefan said, trying to get through to Elena.

Stefan and Elena hadn't had a conversation like this in a very long time, and they both missed it so much. Because truth be told, these types of conversations ended when their relationship did. But through all of this, the one thing that did not end, or change, was the way Stefan felt about Elena. Because he knew – deep down so did she – that no matter what happened or what came their way, the one thing they would always have was their love for one another. It used to be the one thing that kept them going, the thing that made them get up in the mornings, willing to face the day.

Elena took in what Stefan was saying to her, and it only made her feel worse. Here he was, being the perfect friend that anyone could ever ask for, and all she had to offer him was pain and suffering.

"The thing is Stefan, I am perfectly fine. And that scares me. I should be crying, and I should be hurting and mourning, but instead, I am perfectly fine. And I don't deserve that. I don't deserve to be okay after everything that I've done. And everything that I've done to you…" Elena added, trailing off a bit.

Stefan didn't know what to say to Elena's sudden confession. He could have never guessed that Elena felt guilty about what happened between them. They had done such a good job at keeping these feelings, and this discussion at bay, but it was bound to happen one day, so Stefan took a lunge for it.

"You did nothing to me, Elena. You fell in love, so don't ever feel guilty about that. You can feel however you want to feel." Stefan said truthfully, even though it hurt him to think about how his life was ripped apart.

"That's the thing, Stefan, I feel better than I've felt in a long time. It was hard at first, but then I realized that I feel free, and I feel like a horrible person because I just lost the one person I am supposed to love, and my best friend." Elena said.

"You're not supposed to love anyone, Elena, you just do. You aren't obligated to love, it just happens to you and then you never forget it…" Stefan said slowly, quietly, knowing where this conversation could go.

"And I never did, Stefan. Not once." Elena said, knowing exactly what she was saying, and who she was saying it to.

Stefan hung his head, before he spoke up again, "Listen, Damon would never have wanted you to feel this wa – " Stefan began, but stopped when Elena cut him off.

"I'm not talking about Damon, Stefan. I've had a lot of time to think this past year, and I've realized that despite everything we went through, the only thing that remained constant was this lingering feeling that you ignite within me. I ruined us, we were so in love, and I completely destroyed everything we spent so much time building together. You don't deserve this, Stefan. You didn't deserve anything that I put you through, and I am so sorry for everything. You have been through so much, and you had to do it alone because I was busy being the one thing I never wanted to be; Katherine. The only reason I push you away is because after everything I've put you through, you're not supposed to still care, you're supposed to hate me and you don't deserve any of what I put you through, I am so sorry." Elena said, realizing she was crying at this point.

Stefan sat where he was, not knowing what to do. He never anticipated that this is something he would be faced with, so he sat there, confused and grappling with all the emotions he's done so well at keeping below the surface.

"Elena, what happened, happened. There's no need to dwell on the past, because I'm certainly not. As for hating you, I don't think I ever could, truth be told. But I don't think you should apologize for falling in love, Elena. I said it before, and I'll say it again. Nothing about falling in love is ever a mistake. Even if the sire bond set things in motion, you were happy with Damon and he was happy with you." Stefan said, kind of detached, but not entirely.

"You know, I'm not even sure I would have fell in love with Damon if it wasn't for the sire bond. Which is why I feel free now, like I was behind a glass wall and was pounding away, screaming for someone to hear, but no one did. And eventually, that glass wall broke, and what remained is this broken girl in front of you…" Elena said, finally letting out what she has wanted – needed – to say for so long.

Stefan finally moved to grab Elena's hand in a comforting manner, and gave it a tiny squeeze, "Elena, that's all in the past. You're not broken, you made it through, and you're not doing it alone."

Elena grabbed his hand and interlaced their fingers, needing Stefan so much in this one moment and letting her long held in tears fall down her cheeks.

"I love you, you know that? I never stopped. I don't think I ever could. And I realized that the worst day of loving someone, is the day that you lose them." Elena said, deciding to just go with it.

"Elena…" Stefan said, finding himself at a loss for words. He had spent countless nights imagining her say those words to her again, but Stefan couldn't find it in him to repeat those three words. The three words that fell over his lips easier than her name did, something he never stopped whispering in her ear when they would settle into bed together at night.

"I know I'm being selfish, and I know that I don't deserve you. You don't owe me anything, Stefan, I guess I just needed to say it. I needed to clear up any doubt in your mind, and in mine. I never fell out of love with you, you were the one thing that kept me grounded. The one thing I knew that would always be there." Elena said, not knowing if she made a good decision or not. Stefan stayed quiet, contemplating what to say before he began.

"You know, this year has been quite the roller coaster for us. You ripped my heart out, and stomped all over it. Never giving it a second thought. It hurt. A lot. I wanted to hate you, I spent so much time convincing myself that I need to move on, that I would be better off without you. But I couldn't, because I need you more than you would ever know, Elena. And the worst thing is, through all of it, I still would have gone back to you in a heartbeat because you are the woman that I love. I love you so much that it hurts me physically. But Elena, I can't do this right now. I can't be what you need me to be right now…maybe we can find out way back together down the road, but as of right now, I can't, Elena. I'm sorry," Stefan said truthfully.

Elena sucked in a deep breath. Elena wasn't expecting Stefan to jump back into things, and pick her up and ride off into the sunset with one another. But Stefan's confession hurt nonetheless, and she knew that this pain was nothing compared to what she gave Stefan.

"I don't expect anything out of this, Stefan. You don't deserve to be hurt like I like hurt you. But maybe one day, you can forgive me." Elena said with sadness in her voice.

"One day…" Stefan said testing out the word. Elena looked at Stefan, looked at the hurt in his green eyes and wondered how she could have ever been so blind. She loved him so much that she didn't even know what to do.

Stefan brought his other hand to rest against Elena's cheek, and he stroked her cheek with his thumb slowly.

"I love you, Elena, always." Stefan said with promise in his voice before he got up and placed a slow kiss on her forehead. Elena missed his soft kisses and she wanted to have more of them, but she couldn't, and she knew that all too well.

"Always," Elena said before she felt Stefan pull his hand away, and walk out of the room, leaving Elena alone and hopeful for the future.

**XXXXXXXX**

**I hope you liked it. **


End file.
